it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I had to cum in my sink.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize