Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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