But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
