Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
