this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
