ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
foreskin is a definite game changer
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
