My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you didnt know i had herpes?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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