We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
