Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
