Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
