weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
