I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
