I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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