I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
