Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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