I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I still have a little drunk in my system
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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