she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
