I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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