wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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