we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
