he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
