You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
