You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
