It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
