When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
