For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
