we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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