..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
