he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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