then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
