I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
