Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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