hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
