Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
