you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
