Already got asked if we're dating
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
