we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
