that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
