If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
