I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
