i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
