who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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