need another drink. this is the easiest way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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