I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
