dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
