fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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