operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
