I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
