I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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