put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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