i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
