I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
