How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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