The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
