my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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