Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
