Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
