i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
